


Scuttlebutt

by Natem8



Category: Death Note
Genre: Humor, M/M, not-quite-crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 13:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3571772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natem8/pseuds/Natem8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matsuda sees things not meant for the mortal eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scuttlebutt

**Author's Note:**

> Fairly similar to the other one, yes.   
> And I do have a thing for Matsuda.

Matsuda walked into the main headquarters with a slight bit of a confused look on his face. But that seemed to be a default expression for him. He went and plopped right down in a swivel chair and stared at the computer in front of him. Not turning it on or anything, and he seemed to be pondering something deeply. Aizawa, being the cheeky fucker he was, took immediate notice of him. (fyi I have nothing against Aizawa but he seems to be a lil bitch to Matsui a lot)

"Something got you stumped there, kiddo?" He asked, idly running a hand through his poofy-ass hair and giving Matsuda a mock look of interest, whilst typing something out and making several errors from not looking at the screen for five seconds. He took a drink of his coffee and hit the backspace key intensely a few times before retyping whatever it was. It was believed to be his Facebook status. 

"I'm trying to figure out what I just saw..." He said, brows furrowed together and gazing at the black screen before him. His hand idly tapped the armrest on his chair as he thought. Matsuda was thinking at a level of deepness that could only be described as 'potentially existential crisis deep'. 

"Well, what did you see?" Asked the afro-Asian, pausing in his clacking antics to return his gaze to the younger.  
Mogi had offered them nothing more than a slight glance, but they all knew he was listening. He always listened. Because he and Misa had all the good gossip, so it was only fair he got some info for the blondie. And they knew Misa had been pestering him about getting some goods on if Light was homosexual or not. Because let's face it, everyone knew he was, but Misa apparently needed some concrete evidence. And Mogi was her supplier. (Appreciating good character dynamics Misa n' Mogi bffs)

 

"Well, I was walking into the break room, and there was Ryuzaki with his face in the general area in between Light's legs. And I'm trying to guess what he might be doing.. Like, did Light spill some ice cream or something? Melt some chocolate on his shirt, maybe?" He wondered aloud, getting the immediate attention of ever single SPK member in the room at the moment, all with fully shocked stares and gaping mouths. Soichiro looked like he might have a stroke right then and there, Mogi was furiously texting Misa now, the little buzzes from his phone's keyboard could be heard easily, and Aizawa blankly stared at Matsuda now. 

"But that's not the first time I've seen him doing something like that." Matsuda continued. This boy was not able to keep secrets, it seemed. Because he was about to spill the beans on many a thing he had witnessed and never brought up. "I once saw Light lick Ryu-chan's neck." He got a few odder looks for using 'chan'. "But I think he might have gotten frosting on it or something. Light was just helping him get it off maybe. Because we all know how Ryuzaki is with his cake. It'll get everywhere sometimes!" Said the black haired boy, seemingly excited with his own revelation. "Man, I wish I had a good friend like that."   
Nobody volunteered.

 

"E-excuse me.." Said Soichiro before standing up and briskly walking away from the trio, perhaps to go rethink his entire opinion on his son or something equally unpleasant for a parent to have to do. Matsuda gave him a goodbye wave and the others did nothing but continue to look at Matsuda. 

"And? Anything else?" Asked Mogi with his information-gobbling-eye-glint, pausing in his typing ministrations to swipe at the screen and snicker at a message he had gotten back. 

 

"Well, I saw them practice CPR once. At least that's what I think it was. Why else would someone get pushed onto a table and put their mouth on someone else's?" Matsuda would never get laid. This is a fact. Mostly because everyone was sure he did not possess genitals or a sex drive of any kind. 

 

"I-I... I'll be right back, too..." Said Aizawa, mouth agape as he wandered out the door. He was going to ponder some things, too. But most of it was going to be on Matsuda's intelligence and how he had gotten into the NPA, and accepted into L's special-snowflake-squad. 

 

"Mogi, you're not going to leave, are you?" Asked Matsuda with a small frown, looking over to the texting male. He looked like a puppy begging for a treat, Touta did. 

 

"Well, I am, but I want you to come with me. Show me the little... cake fest you saw between Ryuzaki and Light, would you?" He asked, pulling up the camera on his phone and giving a sneaky lil' smile. 

 

"Oh.. Okay, then!" Said the younger with a bright smile, half walking half skipping down the corridor to the break room where he had only minutes ago seen Light and L together. He pushed open the door that was thought to be locked by the pair inside, and it banged against the wall.

Mogi immediately snapped what had to be twenty pictures of the two in their practices..

 

"You really shouldn't have been so naughty, Light-kun.." Said L in a low, sultry voice to Light, looking up to him with a half-lidded gaze and licking some creamy white substance off his pale lips. 

"Well, maybe you-" Light's head snapped around so fast that he may have gotten whiplash. His eyes widened at the sight. Matsuda gesturing to them with a pouty-curious expression on his baby-face, and Mogi snapping dozens of pictures of the scene. Which was L with his head in between Light's legs, a little bit of whiteness on his lips that he was quick to lick right off. He seemed lost as to what was going on, really. 

 

And while Mogi was nattering on the cell to Misa about how completely flaming gay Light was, Light frantically explained the scene just witnessed to Matsuda, who listened eagerly. L just sort of stood and stared at both of them. One eye on each, it looked. 

 

"-and I bumped L's arm when I was flailing around because he pissed me off and the strawberry on his cake fell off and rolled in between my legs so he got down there and took the berry and ate it and it had some vanilla frosting on it still so that explains what he was licking off his lips!" The Yagami boy said, spastically flailing his arms around. And Ll completely nonchalantly went over and put an arm around Light's waist. 

"That's right. It was absolutely not a blowjob or anything of the sort. It would be unprofessional in the workplace." Said L in the most monotone voice he could manage. Because he was trying to keep from busting out laughing, really. 

But what had actually happened wasn't too far from the truth...

**Author's Note:**

> Think what you will of what they may have done for realsies.   
> Criticize me.


End file.
